Down and Out

I am not going to lie, the past two months have just been difficult.

I am tired, unmotivated, and crabby. I am helpless and beyond just the whirlwind of life; I am disappointed.

Disappointed in myself for another year passing and doing nothing note worthy of excellence in my career. The feeling that where I am is just not going to cut it.

Disappointed that my husband and I are spending soooo much of our time working and for what benefit?? A better life? Cause it's certainly not for the money.

Disappointed with myself that I cave into weakness and shop for clothes that I don't need in hopes of getting some sort of self-satisfaction and then disappointed that I am too fat to even look good in clothes these days- but too darn unmotivated to do anything about it!

I have tried to be positive and be thankful for the blessings we do have because there are many, but these days in all the busy-ness I can't seem to get past the desire to want more... More time in the day, More giving of time and money to volunteering and helping, More things for the house so it can be home, More help at home with the upkeep and cleaning, and especially more support at work, More time with my husband, More time with my parents, More money, More desire and motivation for personal goals, just more- more- more.